Why I Use Social Media

People have been commenting about why I use social media as much as I do. Its simple really. The answer is in the name: social media. People use it for various reasons but the primary reason most users use sites like Twitter and Facebook are the social interaction features. Yet for many people with autism the primary reason is communication. It is where we converse with friends and family much like a non-autistic person picks up the telephone to chat with a friend. So much of the conversation surrounding social media is about its uses for journalism, pr, marketing and activism. Yet while those people are the most numerous of users they are not the most active. While they tend to use it doing the work time hours of 9 to 5 or even a few hours after work until they go to sleep at night, we never stop. M0st people with autism don’t have regular sleep patterns.

Autistics are usually fairly limited in their ability to interact with people in a social manner. I myself don’t have many real friends except for maybe one or two. Sure I have met a lot of nice people but that barrier that is called autism exists. Social media is how I cross that barrier. It is my portal to the world. It is where I become known to the world. It is where I interact and socialize with people and learn about the world. How many people would I have met without this online medium? Probably none. It was through Twitter that I met Stacey Soleil who is such a caring and true friend even though I haven’t spoken to her recently yet I still enjoy seeing her snarky poss on my Twitter feed. Also there is my friend Cristina Dunning who is like everyone’s personal cheerleader always trying to encourage people and cheer them up and just generally make them laugh They are just some of the awesome and amazing people I have met.

I am not the most chatty person. In most social situations I am usually the one who is sitting quietly like a wallflower but I don’t mind doing that. It gives me a good chance to observe human behavior. I am quicker to size up a person and estimate what they are about because while everyone is chatting with other people, I am observing them. I learn a lot about human behavior that way. Yet at the same time the barrier exists that keeps me from interacting and socializing with other people. I am much more comfortable with interpersonal communication as opposed to group communication. I often sit and watch as people start-up conversations with other people and just gab away while I am often sitting quietly.

Sociologists who study group behavior say that it is possible to feel lonely and isolated in groups. Our dependence on technology as a society has created a state where we all have become like islands in a vast ocean instead of countries who share common borders. Loneliness and isolation is common for people with Asperger’s is common without the use of technology. Without the use of social media Aspies like myself as well as many other autistics who are non-verbal but can type like Carly Fleischmann who has a website called Carly’s Voice and blogs about autism for CTV. Social media is the window to the world for many people who have autism.

If I did not post on here even the people who see me on a regular basis would not know anything about me. I would just be that strange guy who sits in a corner and sometimes says things that are a little weird or out-of-place. People need to understand that this is where I communicate. Like some people like to gab about their lives to their friends at parties or at work or on the phone or in various other social situations, this is where I gab about my life to mine. People tell me that I should be careful about what I post online but when they say that it is clear they don’t understand autism and some leeway is needed when making such demands. That is why I have written this. Just so people can understand the way that I communicate is different from most people. I am not saying either way is wrong of right but the world in general favors interpersonal communication over online communication because it lacks a personal touch and people are always worried about how people might react to something so they keep it offline, for me offline means in my head or in a private journal and not with a close group of friends like many non-autistics choose to do.

For me social media is my way of gabbing about my everyday life. It is the doorway into who I am. It is here that I share my stories instead of gossiping about it with people offline in social situations. If I didn’t do this no one would know anything about me not even the people who see me on a regular basis. This breaks down the barrier that autism creates. I don’t ask why people talk to each other in person or on the phone, because I spend so much time online for the same reason: to communicate and interact with people. I hope this helps people understand me better because though I am verbal I am still in many ways locked behind the walls of autism.

Related articles

Michael Raven: A Tragic Loss

Michael Raven, 12, ‘bullied by girl gang for being autistic’ found hanged | Mail Online.

I wrote about my own experiences being bullied in recently in a post and upon seeing this article it immediately drew me back to it having been no stranger to  bullying as a child. I can only imagine the taunting and bullying that Michael experienced that drove him to kill himself. I wonder if the girls responsible feel any remorse? I have to ask this again but when will the abuse stop? When will the ignorance end? When will autistics be fully accepted into society? Those are questions that I  can’t answer, but hopefully someone can soon. No child should be made to feel ashamed or embarrassed because they are different. No child should feel that their only escape is to hang themselves. That is unacceptable.

X marks the spot: TBL1X gene involved in autism spectrum disorder

X marks the spot: TBL1X gene involved in autism spectrum disorder.

Well this is exciting news!

New research published in BioMed Central’s open access journal Molecular Autism used genome wide association study (GWAS) data to find a variation in the gene for transducin ß-like 1X-linked (TBL1X) which is associated with increased risk of ASD in boys.

Hopefully the study can be corroborated.

Autistic Brains Have More Brain Cells, Study Finds

Autistic Brains Have More Brain Cells, Study Finds – ABC News.
Thanks to my friend @RepetePro for sharing this with me. I don’t know if I like the idea of possibly having an abnormal number of brain cells. People already think I am strange. Now it is apparently at the cellular level. The study mentioned in the article did discover some interesting details.

They found that the brains of the autistic children had 67 percent more neurons in a region called the prefrontal cortex, an area linked to social, emotional, and communication processing — functions that are typically lacking in autism.

This discovery does bring us on step closer to discovering the causes of autism. I say causes  because I believe there is more than one cause. Yet, knowing that the causes are as far down as the cellular level does not surprise me. I have long believed that there is a cellular component to the disorder and this study just proves it. Now if scientists can solve the greatest mystery of all that would be great: how people lose one white sock after they wash.

We Have More Facebook Friends, but Fewer Close Friends, Says Cornell Sociologist – ABC News

We Have More Facebook Friends, but Fewer Close Friends, Says Cornell Sociologist – ABC News.

Reading this article made me think how much this is true for people with autism?Especially since we are more prone to spend time online on sites like  Facebook. According to the article, people now have an average of 2.03 real life friends which is down from 3.0 real friends. The definition of real friends used is basically people we can use for emotional support and various other things. Given the naivete that many autistics have, socializing online can be a risky proposition and it is easy to meet people online who will take advantage of us. We may also foolishly believe that people we meet online are really our friends and will be there when we need them. Just because I may have 1,000 friends online doesn’t mean I have 1,000 friends in real life.

On Being Articulate (via Just Stimming…) via @octavianasr

@octavianasr shared this post with me and I identify with it alot. I am not very articulate and am often uncomfortable talking to people I don’t know. Said uncomfortability is a trait common to people with Asperger’s Syndrome.

They say I’m articulate. (I think about all the words that stay locked in my throat, and I give a small and terrified smile and look over their shoulder and into nothing at all.) I’m really quite lucky I have such a command of language. (There are maybe five people in the whole wide world I can talk to face-to-face without wanting to die, without having a panic attack, without needing to hurt myself or sleep for hours afterward. Two of them recei … Read More

via Just Stimming…

Good news! I am back at ABC News!

I will just be writing this brief post to let you know some of the good news that has been going on in my life. I got hired on as a Desk Assistant at ABC News. I could not be happier. My dream has come true.

The Best Few Weeks of My Life

Where do I begin?

After sending out my farewell letter, I received a message from one of my friends that Ben Sherwood the president of ABC News had read my farewell letter aloud during one of the morning production meetings. Not too long afterword he called me to talk and tell me had read my letter.  I felt like I was literally on cloud 9.

My internship ended and during my break I travelled to New Orleans for the Excellence in Journalism Conference.  It was a chance to reconnect and with some old friends and meet some new ones. New Orleans is an amazing city full of music and good food. I learned a lot attending the different workshops and met some of my fellow ABC News colleagues.

New Orleans is a city like no other. Music is almost on every corner and in every building and of course there is that famous street in New Orleans which is a required stop in the city:

 IMG_20110928_092754

What ABC News colleagues if my internship is over? My internship did end but I a week before I left for New Orleans I was offered a position as a desk assistant at ABC News. I was shocked and surprised by the offer, but readily accepted it.  As I mentioned in my previous post, it had been my dream to  work at ABC News.  Now that dream has begun to come to fruition. I firmly believe that hard work does pay off and in my case it did. My dream is beginning to happen.

Asperger’s Syndrome and the Missing Edit Button

autism sucks: Facebook and the Aspergers Teen.

After reading the blog I have provided a link to above I felt I could relate to the situation described in various ways.

Having Aspergers, I can see both sides of this issue having engaged in this sort of behavior albeit minus the cursing online (I reserve that for real life) I can understand the desire to blow off steam at the person who has caused the anger especially when I was a teenager. As I grew older I realized that such behavior had repercussions mostly through ruined friendships and the like, so I learned to try and put a muzzle on things. Sometimes that does not always work and as you say the missing edit button is in full effect but once I calm down I quickly apologize and delete my comments. It took me a long time to learn this as I am now 32. I sometimes still do the explosive or cryptic status update but those too for the most part eventually get deleted.

People with Asperger’s as the writer of the linked blog have a missing edit button.  The button that says perhaps we shouldn’t say such things. Too put it mildly people with Asperger’s are pretty f—cking blunt at times. And if upset we have no problem using pretty colorful and often insulting and derogatory language, which is never really appropriate and can sometimes be hurtful. As I mentioned earlier,  I have learned to try and muzzle myself because I know that at least in online situations prospective employers may be watching what I do.

Stimming

For the non-autistic person this term may be unknown. Stimming is short for Self-Stiimulating Behavior. The primary reason an autistic stims is to cope with the environnment in which they live, much like a neurotypical person uses a stress ball to cope with stress. It produces the same effect as the stress ball because for some reason the movement of the body and the stimulation of the nerves distracts the brain from the dealing with emotions such as anxiety or joy or even sadness.

I made this video to show how I stim.

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